| I haven't posted anything in 178 weeks. |
[Nov. 30th, 2009|08:25 pm] |
I know nobody is going to read this, but i definitely stole the updating my live journal idea from Missy.
So many things have changed recently, let alone since the last time I updated this. Considering I was thirteen or fourteen when that was I guess I'll update on my life?
So lets see, high school was gay. But i graduated and now i have this thing called a High School diploma that everyone says is so important. I don't hate myself anymore, if anything I'm too in love with myself, I still have days where i don't like who i am, but I'm okay with that. New York is over for me, the day after graduation I moved to South Carolina. I clearly never thought I would say this but I miss New York so much. Its too small here, everyone is closed minded. Everyone is racist, sexist, and every other bad 'ist' you can think of short of feminist, thank god. OH and they're all religious hypocrites.
Oh and I live with my mom, scott & mark (her friends) and my brother. My dad is still in New York. My dad ended up not being who anyone thought he was. He's an asshole but I've resolved not to hate him and to just not feel anything about him, like he's just some guy off the street that i've never even met. He never talks to me, he never calls, doesn't send any money. My mom does everything by herself.
I've met a few people here that i'm really thankful for, because i'd probably lose my mind if it wasn't for them. Richard, Mikey, Jason, Brittany & Sid. Richard has quickly turned into my best friend here, I'd probably lose my mind without weekly visits to his house, and out of mine. Jason & Mikey came with Richard, they're so much fun. Jason and me always drink together, but he's someone i can seriously talk to about my future and my ideals. Mikey i can talk to about pretty much any personal thing, he's very understanding and easy to talk to. Brittany pretty much saved my life when i first got here, even though she's only 13, she has become one of my best friends, because i was stuck in the house when i got here, without any friends, and then there she was. Then there's Sid, who is the current love interest, and he always is there to make me smile when nothing else can, and when I'm feeling terrible about my current life situation he is always there to listen to me and make me feel better.
I still talk to people from New York. Missy mostly, she was with me through all of this, through my parents getting divorced, and me moving to my grandparents, and me moving here. She even paid for me to go back to New York during the summer, because i hated it here so much. She has really been there for me and I never thank her enough for that. I still talk to Ashley & Gillian, like the old old group. But its not like it was, I'm close to all three of them, but none of them are close with one another, they talk, but its not like we used to. I talk to Angela sometimes too but she's married and probably pregnant, so busy.
A lot of stuff happened while i was busy not updating this, I have sex, I've done drugs, I smoke cigarettes, all the things I used to frown upon.I don't think of myself as a hypocrite though, just as human. I grew up and I realized that life happens. Life happened to me, and it caught me by surprise. Everything moved so fast, one minute I was just Stefanie, and the next i was smoking a cigarette, blowing a line of oxy and sucking dick. Am I proud of it? of course not. But i own up to what i've done, and who i've become because of it. Do I regret anything? Not one second of it, because it made me who I am today. If I could do it over, would i do it all again? all the same? I can't say i would, because the people who were there for me when I started this Live Journal when i thought that I had no one, regardless of all the bullshit i put them through and how terrible I was to them are still the people who are here for me today, no matter what. And if i could do this whole life thing over, I think i would not wrong them as much as i have in the past, and just try to make things, so they have always been right. But do i regret it? No.
I guess thats all, I don't know what else i can say, but maybe i'll update in another 178 weeks. maybe. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|10:49 pm] |
BODY: IF A MOVIE WAS MADE OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
Open your music player (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).,or mp3 player. Put it on shuffle. Press play. For every question type the song that's playing. When you go to a new question press the next button. Ready? GO!
Opening Credits: Get it Hot - AC/DC
Waking Up: October Nights - Yellowcard
Falling in Love: Dust and Bones
Fight scene: Breathing - Yellowcard
Breaking up: bootylicious - Destinys Child
Getting back together: Back Where I Come From
Secret Love: The Geeks get the girls - American Hi-Fi
Life's okay: Crush - Pretty girl - Sugarcult
Mental Breakdown: The Story of My Old Man - Good Charlotte
Driving: Sunlight - Raised First
Flashbacks: My 1st Single - Eminem
Happy dance: Sugar Were Goin Down - Fall Out Boy
Regretting: Aint It Fun - Guns N Roses
Long night alone: Have You Forgotten - Darryl Worley
Final Battle: Theres Gotta Be More to Life - Stacy Orico
Death scene: Story of a Girl - Matchbook Romance
Ending credits: Bring It All Back - S Club 7 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|10:33 pm] |
BODY: IF A MOVIE WAS MADE OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
Open your music player (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).,or mp3 player. Put it on shuffle. Press play. For every question type the song that's playing. When you go to a new question press the next button. Ready? GO!
Opening Credits: Cacophony - Blink 182
Waking Up: Inside Out - Yellow Card
Falling in Love: "Song For You"- City High
Fight scene: "Push it -Garbage
Breaking up: Get Busy Living or Get Busy Dying - Fall Out Boy
Getting back together: Heres Your Letter - Blink 182
Secret Love: Loose Yourself - Eminem
Life's okay: Crush - Mandy Moore
Mental Breakdown: Anthing - Randy Travis
Driving: Girl At The Rock Show - Blink 182
Flashbacks: Hakuna Matatta - Lion King
Happy dance: New Noise - Lost Prophets
Regretting: Hurt - NIN
Long night alone: Sleep Together - Garbage
Final Battle: Dysentery Gary - Blink 182
Death scene: We Still Kill the Old Way - Lost Prophets
Ending credits: Hells Bells - AC/DC |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|10:26 pm] |
Put your music player on shuffle. Press forward for each question.
Use the song title as the answer to the question even if they don't make sense. You'll be surprised though.
How am I feeling today?
Ive got a dark alley and a bad idea
Will I get far in life?
Sweet Child Of Mine
How do my friends see me?
Tourniquet
Where will I get married?
Burn it Down
What is my best friend's theme song?
Fentoozler
What is the story of my life?
Final Thought
What was high school like?
I1100
How can I get ahead in life?
Robot
What is the best thing about me?
Every Nights another story
What was today like?
Mexican Wine
What is in store for this weekend?
Touchdown Boy
What song describes my parents?
Show Me Love
How is my life going?
Hey Mama
What song will they play at my funeral?
Im with you
How does the world see me?
Friend or Foe
Will I have a happy life
My Boo
What do my friends really think of me?
Pop
Do people secretly lust after me?
Burn Burn
How can I make myself happy?
The Click
What should I do with my life?
Sugar Were going down
What will my children be like?
Ocean Avenue
What will you name them?
The Wind Cries Mary
What will the person you marry be like?
My Happy Ending
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
LIfestyles of the rich and famous
Will you have a fulfilling life?
Let me put my love in to you
How will you die?
Girls Got Rythem |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 29th, 2006|10:20 pm] |
Put your music player on shuffle. Press forward for each question.
Use the song title as the answer to the question even if they don't make sense. You'll be surprised though.
How am I feeling today?
15 will get you 20
Will I get far in life?
Breaking the Habit
How do my friends see me?
San Dimas High School Football Rules
Where will I get married?
My Hotel Year
What is my best friend's theme song?
Paris in Flames
What is the story of my life?
Beautiful
What was high school like?
Girls not Grey
How can I get ahead in life?
Violence
What is the best thing about me?
A Moment like This
What was today like?
Four Cord Wonder
What is in store for this weekend?
Alien Sex Friend
What song describes my parents?
Drive Away
How is my life going?
Head Like a Hole
What song will they play at my funeral?
Songs for a mixed tape
How does the world see me?
Valley Winter Song
Will I have a happy life?
Almost
What do my friends really think of me?
Burn it down
Do people secretly lust after me?
A little bit emo, a little bit hardcore
How can I make myself happy?
Here we Go again
What should I do with my life?
Aliens Exist
What will my children be like?
Theres no I in Fuck you
What will you name them?
Losing Streak
What will the person you marry be like?
Infatuation
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?
Rock the Boat
Will you have a fulfilling life?
La La
How will you die?
I1100 |
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